Infertility

When I was growing up, I had my life planned out.  I was going to graduate from high school, go on a mission, graduate from college, get married and have a family.  Everything was going as planned, except for the last part.  Infertility took me by surprise.  After not getting pregnant for 4 years we decided it was time to consult a fertility specialist.  We started out with lots of tests which showed that there was no reason why I couldn't get pregnant.  David's sperm motility was low, but not so low that we wouldn't be able to get pregnant.  We decided to try some treatments.  During the first year we did 3 rounds of intrauterine insemination without success.  

At that point I was getting kind of bored at home, so I went back to work.  I took a contract position selling Allegra with the same team I worked with previously.  The contract was just for a year and I was hoping I would be able to get pregnant through invitro fertilization that year.  

Invitro was a stressful process.  I had to give myself more than 70 injections in preparation for the procedure and they had to be at specific times every day.  I often had to excuse myself from meetings to give myself an injection.  Our insurance did not cover any fertility treatments so we paid 10k out of pocket.

The way it worked out, we would find out if the procedure had been successful on Christmas eve.  We were hopeful that it would be the best Christmas ever.  But as it turned out, the result was negative, no pregnancy.  That was a tough day.  

I wrote in my journal, "sometimes I think that the reason we haven't had children is because God knows we aren't meant to be together."  

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